2019 in Review

One of the benefits to maintaining this blog is the ability to look back at seasons of my life of great growth and progress or, conversely, seasons of great struggle and challenge. 2019 was, quite honestly, neither; however, I entered the year fully cognizant of the idea that this year was going to be simply a year of building and "putting in the work", so to speak. I had to be okay with the idea that this was not going to be a year of landmark moments but instead a year in which I had to put my head down and trudge forward. Since 2017, I have looked at 2020 as the year of big moments and big moves. For that to occur, I had to be willing to accept 2018 and 2019 as building-block years. That said, plenty happened this year, and it is my annual honor to walk you through my year that was.

Growth Through Failure
While ultimately I am still set up very well to become Dr. Duehr in 2020 (currently September 20, 2020 is the target date), there were moments during which that notion felt tenuous at best. The first time I turned in my concept paper to achieve doctoral candidacy and commence work on my dissertation, I was denied. Instead of digging deep within myself and finding the tenacity to move forward, I fully admit I initially crumbled under the pressure and turned inward. Fortunately, a few weeks later, I was ready to get back at it. I realized that if I had merely asked the right questions and gotten out of my own way, I could have received approval sooner. I have never been the best at taking criticism, yet I now understand that failure and subsequent growth is an integral component of the doctoral process. I write with greater purpose and clarity and think like a doctoral scholar. Since that failure, I have had 40% of my dissertation approved, and am extremely excited to work on the remaining three chapters.

New Professional Challenges
In May, I had the privilege of going through the 8th grade graduation process for the first time as an 8th grade teacher. It was difficult saying goodbye to that group, especially since we spent two years together, but I was very excited to see them conquer high school and the world at large. In August, I received the challenge of not only a new group but also a new schedule which required me to teach reading as well as writing to three groups, including an "Accelerated" group. Since I did not know I would be doing this until approximately 10 days before the school year began, I did not exactly have time to adequately prepare for the new challenge. It felt at points I was learning on the fly, and more often than not I felt like I was drowning. I was afraid of doing these students a disservice by not effectively preparing them for high school. A funny thing happened the week before break. We took the winter round of the MAP testing. 75 percent of my students met or exceeded (and some significantly exceeded) their growth targets for BOTH reading and language skills. For the first time since teaching English, I felt as though my methods and prioritization of the students as people above all else were validated. I am excited to guide this group of students through their last semester as middle school students.

Glimpses
This year was a weird year at times because it gave me fleeting glimpses as to what my life *could* and *might* be someday. It felt as though impossibility no longer existed. I conversed with my celebrity crush (Victoria Justice) on Twitter. A girl I had a crush on for years messaged me to talk about mutual feelings. I met my favorite male (Dolph Ziggler) and female (Sasha Banks) WWE superstars and felt at home in conversation with them. Myrna even reappeared from her metaphorical bunker to e-mail me twice! Though all of these moments (and others) were merely moments, they served as valuable reminders that nothing is impossible, that my current situation is not permanent, and if I continue to do the work, I will set myself up for everything I desire.

Joy in the Journey
I made a point to break up my days with enjoyable things. The constant monotony of work, grad school, and exercise can wear down on one's psyche. I knew the goals I laid for myself were cumbersome, so I did my best to break up those days. Whether it was the aforementioned meet and greets with WWE superstars, a trip to Cleveland to see the Seahawks, a GameFAQs message board meetup in Michigan, or any of the five concerts I attended this year with various friends (including a road trip with Jaclyn to Grand Rapids to meet State Champs), I allowed myself various "rest stops" along the way to celebrate my progress, enjoy life a little, and catch my breath before moving forward.

2019 was not a monumental year, but it was a solid one. It is my sincerest hope that my diligence in putting in the work will lead to a fruitful 2020. As always, thank you for coming along for the ride (or at least reading about the ride).