20 Things I Learned in My 20s

Blog posts consisting entirely of lists are admittedly lazy. However, I do have a less lazy and more thoughtful post coming this evening as well, and the material in this post would not fit well within that post.

My 20s were not as fruitful a decade as I would have wished or even prognosticated, yet I still learned a number of lessons. I would say the decade as a whole could be chalked up to a learning experience. Here are 20 lessons I learned (in no particular order).

1. Degrees from institutions of higher learning do not make you “smarter”. However, they do open doors.
2. It’s okay to fail. In fact, it is better to fail magnificently than it is to never even attempt to succeed.
3. The separation is in the preparation. It is easier to succeed when you have a plan.
4. However, there are some things for which you simply cannot plan. Adapt and adjust, or get lost in the shuffle.
5. As your age grows, so does the percentage of things that you realize are out of your control.
6. Many opportunities unfortunately cannot be earned. They are either given or they are not, often times seemingly without rhyme or reason.
7. People are going to move on without you. You are going to move on from some people. This is not always done with malice but is rather a byproduct of different growth trajectories.
8. If you are so desperate for something, you can interpret virtually anything as a “sign” that thing is meant to happen. Stop searching for signs. Just live.
9. A goal changed is not a goal failed. Do not pursue a goal you for which no longer have a passion simply out of stubbornness. Roll with the curves.
10. Many timelines are good in theory only. The greater the importance you place on timelines, the more disappointed you will be with your life.
11. Attack your job with ferocity while you are at work. As soon as you walk out the door to end your day, leave it alone until you walk back in the following day.
12. Death is the only door that ever truly remains closed. All other doors can be reopened with enough patience and/or persistence.
13. Be generous with the things that mean the most to you. It is no great feat to show generosity with the things that matter little to you. Give of your best fruits.
14. Everything is impossible until it is possible. When it becomes possible, it can no longer be impossible.
15. Be careful to not fall into the trap of seeing others for who we want them to be or believe they can eventually become whilst losing sight of who they actually are.
16. Seeking the advice of a number of people does not ensure that the situation for which you are seeking advice will end favorably. It does, however, ensure that a significant number of people are aware of your business (and can use it against you later).
17. The greatest thing you can invest in is people. The returns far surpass any monetary value.
18. It is important to remember that love not only is a challenge but also that love is dynamic and not static. It requires your greatest effort and your greatest care.
19. Both the power and finesse approaches have their merits. It takes great discernment to know which approach is most appropriate in a given situation.
20. Happiness is not always there for the taking, but contentment is. More often than not, you will not have what you want. You can always make the decision to want what you have.