I’ve always been of the belief that if you’re able to do something once, you can do it again. That said, I also believe that it is exponentially more difficult to do something a second time. A repeat performance has its own unique set of challenges. Having run two marathons, I know firsthand the challenges that come the second time around.
When you do something for the first time, you do not have a full and true understanding of the challenges that are going to arise. As a result, all you can do is encounter each challenge as it comes. There is a certain bravado and blissful ignorance when it comes to dealing with these challenges. You don’t know what you’re about to be hit with, but you don’t really care because you have a distinct end in mind.
There are two potentially dangerous traps to avoid when attempting a repeat performance. Since you know what it takes to succeed, there is the possibility of downplaying these challenges and becoming overconfident. On the other end, because you do know what is coming, you may live in fear of these challenges and not face them with the same confidence and tenacity with which you attacked them the first time.
I say all that to introduce this post. At the end of last school year, I wrote about my year and, quite honestly, felt like a conquering hero. I had a fantastic group of kids who wanted to succeed, and I did everything I could to facilitate their growth and future success. I was so ready and so excited for Round 2.
Unfortunately, there are things in life for which we do not plan and which we cannot change. I didn't even get out of the blocks before adversity struck. Two days before the school year began, I was informed that I was out of a job until enrollment improved. To say that hit me hard would be an understatement. The confidence that took a lifetime to build had been shaken to its very core. I didn’t know what to do. I was so afraid of falling back into some of the same bad habits that plagued me from 2009-2011. I knew that couldn’t happen.
Fortunately for me (or so I thought at the time), I was able to land on my feet as I was offered a social studies teaching position at an alternative high school. Because of my success the prior year, I believed that I would have no problems duplicating that success with a new group of students. Quite honestly, I had no idea what I was getting into. The school had a disturbing lack of academic vision and behavioral accountability for its students. It took me a week to realize that I was going to lose my mind if I stayed there any longer. It was a very difficult decision for me (as those of you who know me well know that I detest giving up on anything), but I took a leap of faith and walked away from the job.
Again, I knew that to go back to where I was would just be wrong (there’s some retro Relient K lyrics for you), so I needed to keep myself as productive as possible. I was still working out daily and working on my master’s degree, but I needed more. So I volunteered my afternoons at the school where I was laid off. I had very strong positive feelings towards the school from the last year, and I wanted to do everything I could to help them out. Plus, I thought that if I was there enough, I’d be the first person they would bring back once enrollment improved. I did the volunteering thing for over two months. It was enjoyable at the start, but it got frustrating as time went on. I was honestly about to call it a day and figure out something different when I was asked to return full time. My persistence had paid off!
To compare this class to my class from last year would be like comparing apples and oranges. In fact, the only things they had in common were that both classes were full of 6th and 7th grade students and that class was held in the same building. This group challenged me more than I was expecting. Though the classroom numbers were much smaller than they were last year, this group was a much needier and significantly more vocal group. Whereas my students last year truly got along with each other (save for once instance between two of my boys), my classroom was in constant conflict. It was a lot more difficult to get this group engaged in activities. I had to alter my strategies a lot to make things work.
Don’t get me wrong. I still liked this group of kids. Things were just different, and there were a number of challenges that arose that were beyond our control. The school went through three social workers over the course of the year before they finally wound up with a good one. We lost our gym teacher, and we classroom teachers were responsible for our kids’ P.E. periods, losing our breaks and gaining headaches in the process. It got even worse when basketball (the sport of choice for about 90% of the students in the school) was outlawed. My class had to move classrooms because the heating unit in our original classroom went out. We even had to spend two days in the library and conference room when our replacement classroom had problems! But as I told my kids, sometimes survival is the greatest victory. We may have limped to the finish line, but we crossed that line nonetheless.
I wouldn’t have made it through the year were it not for a number of wonderful coworkers. We pooled our lemons together to make the best lemonade we possibly could. It wasn’t easy, but we made it work. We always do.
I don’t know where my journey will take me next. I’m not sure whether or not this particular chapter of my life is ready to be closed. What I do know is that this year, though extremely exhausting, made me better, stronger, and wiser. I’ve got what it takes to go toe to toe with the next challenge, wherever and whatever that is.
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