I've Been PMSing for a Decade (And Enjoying Every Minute of It)*

*Acronym Still Funny

“No man is an island.” Though I have heard that phrase dozens of times throughout my life, there have been times during which I sought to prove that phrase incorrect. However, each attempt to disprove the phrase led to rather humbling experiences. Put simply, we (or at least I) need the company of like-minded individuals. It is important to become part of a community, to become part of something where the whole is so much greater than the sum of its parts. It is also important to note that in this age of advanced technology, not all communities exist on a physical plane. Some communities are not like church buildings or schools that you can get into your car and physically visit. Some of these communities exist virtually. Stickam was one of those communities for me. The ACSB was another. Today I’d like to talk about a little place known as Paper Mario Social, or PMS to its inhabitants.

Before the days of MySpace or Facebook (or even Xanga), message boards were the hub of internet communities and communications. As a typical adolescent with some socially awkward tendencies, it should come as no surprise to discover that I was a pretty avid video gamer (though considerably less hardcore of a gamer than most of my friends). I stumbled on a little site known as GameFAQs. I shopped around communities for a while before finally settling at the ACSB in early 2004. I hit it off immediately with a number of the board members and formed friendships that still carry on to this day. However, even in online communities, infighting and drama permeate areas that are populated with adolescents. At some point during the summer of 2004 I felt like I needed a break from the ACSB to see what else the sight had to offer. A couple of my friends kept alluding to a “Safe Haven”, and eventually one of them invited me to this place. It was Paper Mario Social.

No sooner had I checked the board out than I realized that it was a very different place than the ACSB. Everyone seemed to know each other for years (which they did), and there was a deeper sense of understanding of one another than one would expect to find in an internet community. There were still some of the fun and silly game topics like at the ACSB, but there were topic after topic about real life and intellectual and philosophical matters. It was different, but I liked it.

Even behind the safety of a screen and keyboard, it isn’t always easy to be the new guy. Heck, after a decade I still feel like the new guy at times. I’ll be honest and share something that I’ve never shared before. I was intimidated by the group. While I would never go so far to say that I expect to be the smartest guy in any room I enter, I know that I can more than hold my own. It was an intimidating to enter into a place in which everyone was my intellectual peer or superior (or at least, I interpreted everyone in that way). I’m even used to being the tallest person wherever I go. At 6’5, there are no fewer than 3 people on the board who are taller than me! I didn’t know how well I would fit in. In the beginning, I didn’t make much of an effort to fit in. It was just another place to go, a place that I could visit and connect with friendly acquaintances every now and then.

An interesting thing happened over time. The ACSB began to fall apart. Though we all established our friendships and relationships, none of us ever really gave any focus to the long-term sustainability of our little community. Those of us who wanted to keep in touch with one another did so outside the confines of the community, and those who did not fell by the wayside. By fall 2007, I needed some sort of community in my life. I needed a constant in my daily routine. Things were changing around me, and I knew that I could either adapt to those changes or perish. I made a better effort to become a part of things.

The more I got to know everyone, the less intimidated I became. While the guys are every bit as smart as advertised (and have some hobbies that would bore me to tears), they were good people. I had some of my greatest laughs in early 2008 when we went through the whole Monty and Mark ordeal. As we have all grown, we have become less “HeyDude” , “BUM”, “Kylo Force”, or “Power of 3” and more Alex, Mark, Jon, and Jakob.

The friendships that I have made within this community have been extremely valuable. I’ve already talked at great length about Gary (one of my mentors and heroes) and Zach in my previous series. I wouldn’t have made it to 2014 without them. It’s time to brag on some of the other people. I can honestly say that within our little community, there is no one whom I dislike. There is such diversity in the community, and each member contributes his own unique talents and perspectives. We have teachers, writers, thinkers, dancers, sports fans, and all around good dudes. Whether the topic is made by Brandon, Fred, James, Mark, or Will, I know I’m going to learn or think about something in a way I had never thought before. I have laughed, empathized, debated, and learned (most notably that EVERYONE wants an epic boyfriend). We have shared hopes and dreams, successes and failures, and grown from goofy kids to less goofy adults.

I had the privilege of meeting Jon and Zach for dinner in Seattle two years ago. Too often you hear horror stories of meeting people whose real world personas failed to match their online counterparts. That wasn’t for us. It was probably the best 90 minutes of conversation I had in all of 2012. It’s great to know that our community is not simply filled with good posters; it’s filled with good people, too.

I’ve been at the board for 10 years now. Over that time I have undergone many changes. I started out as the awkward high school kid. Since then I have been the neurotic wreck of a college student, the fun-loving yet unmotivated graduate, the determined professional, and the current me which I like to think is an amalgamation of the positive aspects of my two previous incarnations. A lot has changed over time (especially in my facial hair). I’ve gained and lost a number of things, but PMS was always a constant. We’ve lost some members over the years. Some really good people moved on with their lives. Our community isn’t the bustling metropolis of the internet that it once was. To those of you who have been around longer than me, that might be a bit disheartening. Yet the way I see it, we still have something that very few in the world can claim: a rich and meaningful community.

I don’t know where the community is going, but I will say that I am grateful it has gotten me to this point. All the PMSing that I’ve done over the past decade has made me into the man I am today. Thank you for opening your doors to me way back when. A PMS life for the win.