I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Whit,
People are by nature fixers. They see something they don’t like and do something about it, or, at the very least, they say something about it. At times this nature is inherently selfish, but it can also be done out of love. When a friend or family member comes to them with a problem, it is often their first instinct to try to help. They’ll say what they think and might even do something to try to fix it.
It takes a special person to realize that sometimes, all that person really wants or needs is someone to listen. All they want is to get their problems off their chest without being judged, prodded, or guided to a course of action. It takes someone with great patience and compassion to be a good listener. You are that person.
We’ve known each other for the better part of three years, and not once have you ever made me feel bad about myself. Since I’ve vented pretty much every one of my problems to you, you have had ample opportunity to do so. You’ve probably seen me at my worst! But all you’ve ever done was cared, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.
If there’s one thing I’ll never forget about you or our friendship, it’s the conversation we had in fall 2011. I was right on the verge of turning the corner in my life and becoming the man I always wanted to be, but I wasn’t there yet. In fact, I was feeling particularly discouraged about something (knowing me, probably something having to do with work or my love life). You didn’t try to fix it. You didn’t tell me what I should do. What you did was send me the link to Mat Kearney’s “Sooner or Later”. That song immediately changed my mood and my outlook. I went from feeling fairly hopeless to extremely inspired. Every time I listen to that song, I think of you and how you have always been a friend to me.
It doesn’t surprise me that you are a nurse. It takes someone with patience and compassion to do that job effectively. Those are the two attributes that you have in abundance. Despite everything that you’ve come up against, you have never let adversity deplete you of the very things that make you so special. I can’t begin to tell you how inspiring that is. I can only hope that someday I can be half as inspiring to you.
The world needs more people like you. If we talked less and listened and loved more, we would be much better off. Thank you for all you’ve done for me, and thank you for being my friend.
Love always,
Jakob
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