I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Tiffany,
Friendship, like most things, requires a delicate balance. There can’t be too much give or too much take. One person can’t be doing all the work. What many people do not realize is that friendship shouldn’t require one person being too easy or too hard on the other. There needs to be balance.
Often, we tiptoe around saying certain things to our friends for fear that they won’t respond well to what we have to say. Other times, we say whatever we feel without any fear of repercussions. The best friends know when to say something and when not. They can tear you a new one yet make you feel loved while they’re doing that. You have that rare quality.
I’ve told you before that you are one of two people in the world who can say literally anything to me without me being offended or bothered by it. You’ve earned that status. That’s not something that is freely given. We’ve known each other for two years now. Never once have I doubted that you care about me. Never once have I wondered if you were truly looking out for my best interests. You have the ability to notice things that either I can’t see or choose not to see. Instead of shutting up and forcing me to learn by myself, you’ve always taken the time to talk things out to me and explain why something might not be the best idea or what might happen if I continue down a specific path. You don’t do it because you think you could do a better job being Jakob Duehr. You do it because you honestly don’t want to see me hurt. I can’t always say that I listen to your advice (I am me, after all), but I can say that it has always been and will always be appreciated.
With a lot of my friends, I can remember how we met, but in most cases I don’t remember the first day we met. You’re an exception that way. Things were goofy and crazy that night, and they set the tone for our friendship. The past two years hasn’t been the smoothest sailing in either of our lives, but having a friend there for you helps soften the blow a bit.
You’ve always believed in me when I have pursued my goals (though not always in my love life goals haha). It is so much easier to keep going when you know that others believe in you. Thank you for believing in me.
I know these days that you have some goals of your own in mind, especially as it pertains to fitness. I’ve been there. I’ve actually been there twice! I’d be lying to you if I told you it was going to be easy. But I know you can do it. Not only CAN you do it, but you WILL do it. Be prepared to succeed. Just like you believe in me, I believe in you.
I don’t know when our paths will cross in person, but I am sure it will be a whole lot of fun when they do. Thank you for helping me be honest and accountable to myself, thank you for helping me see the bigger picture, and thank you for always being there for me.
Love always,
Jakob
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