You are the Story I Tell: Rob

I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.

Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.

Dear Rob,

Out of all my close friends, I feel like I have the most regret when it comes to you. You deserved better, and I should have been more appreciative.

We’ve been friends for over two decades now. I’ll be honest. When I first met you when we were young, I was a little put off. But the first time I actually had a legitimate conversation with you, all those feeling went away. I got to see the person you were.

As kids, even though we were friends, we were also friendly rivals. We were a couple big fish in small ponds. I wish I hadn’t been so competitive back then. In hindsight, what did any of that matter anyway? Instead of feeling so competitive in spelling bees and geography bowls, I could have spent more time appreciating the friendship that I had with someone who had similar abilities and a similar skill set.

I didn’t really become friends with Rex until high school, and Merrill and I have had our on and off spurts where our friendship took a breather. You, however, have been a constant in my life for over 20 years. Other friends have come and gone. Love interests certainly have. You and Dan, however, have always been there. Many friends leave, but family doesn’t. For that reason, I consider you more family than friend.

I don’t know that we ever thanked you or your family enough for being so accommodating to all of us during high school. Your house was the hub for all of us. I will never forget the night that Merrill told the other three of us (Dan, Rex, and me) that you had invited us to come after church. You had worked a long shift at Office Max that day during the holiday season, and you were tired. You could’ve sent us all home, but you didn’t. Even though you weren’t always proud of your family, you opened up your home to us and made us a part of your family.

Despite all that, I had the audacity to take part in writing a “list of indictments” to you and Bob. I don’t regret much in my life, but as I conceived this series, I knew that I was going to have to confront my regret about this. I cannot express my apology enough for that. All you ever were was a friend, and we took advantage of that and took it for granted. That was inexcusable, and during that period of my life I am embarrassed to say that I didn’t pull my weight as a friend.

I am pleased to say that our friendship got stronger as we went to college. Some of my favorite memories of my early twenties consist of the two of us doing WWE-related things. Whether it was me coming down to Champaign or the two of us going to Detroit, our friendship made my life better. As time, distance, and adult responsibilities have created some separation between us (seriously, it’s been 2.5 years since we’ve seen each other… ridiculous), I look back on the time when we were in closer proximity and wish that I would’ve been better. I still consider you one of my favorite people and one of the few that I completely trust. I hope we see each other one of these years, and like I said to the other guys, I would be honored if you would be part of my wedding once I find someone crazy enough to allow me to put a ring on it! Thank you for being my friend all these years, and thank you for showing me how a friend should be.

All the best,
Jakob