Wednesday, May 28, 2014

You are the Story I Tell: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.

Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.


Dear Guys,

I’ve written at great length about the five guys whom I’d consider my closest friends. Growing up, there were times that those guys weren’t around. I’ll fully admit that making new friends isn’t something that’s one of the sharpest tools in my arsenal. I don’t always put myself out there, and I very rarely venture into uncharted waters. That said, each of you helped me more than you probably ever realized, and it’s about time you knew that.

Rick, let me be completely honest. I HATED going to Christian Hills. Like, I seriously despised going. Most of the people there were people that I couldn’t stand. But all of a sudden a lot of that changed. Sitting with you, Mark Ebbers, and whoever else we could get to sit with us made Kids Church infinitely more enjoyable. Churches theoretically are supposed to be places where people make friends and feel welcome. Thank you for being a friend and making my Sunday mornings tolerable in the late 90s.

Mark Ross, it’s no secret that I wasn’t the most popular person at PBC. Part of that was because I was an awkward kid. Part of it was that I was shy and lacked confidence to put myself out there and let people see who I was. You were always extremely friendly to me. I don’t think I appreciated it enough back then. I focused on all the people that didn’t like me that I didn’t take the time to recognize the blessings I had. Thanks for being there for me back then. It meant a lot.

Hoover, it's funny that the first memory I have of you was the girls from my church trying to get me to fight you by planting nonsense in my ears. Once we started talking, I realized you were a super chill dude, and having you around made camp even more fun. It's a shame we never got to room together any of those years. You've always been someone I've enjoyed talking to. Meeting up at Woodfield Mall in spring 2010 was one of the highlights of my year.

Brian Lyons, Murdock, and Adam, like I said earlier, I am not always the best at making friends. I’m certainly not the best about approaching new people. Yet somehow I became friends with the three of you, and I don’t think that I could’ve done any better picking friends from TPHS. Brian Lyons, aside from having the most fun to say name ever, you’ve always been super cool and understanding about how I’ve felt about things. You’ve encouraged me plenty times when I was down. Murdock, I’ve always admired the fact that you’ve always had a plan. You’ve known what you want, and you’ve always worked hard to get there. I’m bummed that I missed the last Docfest. I thought it was the following week! Adam, you’ve taught me how to be more comfortable with myself. I’ve always kind of envied how comfortable you are within your own skin and how you have such a great sense of self. I’ve learned to get better at that myself, thanks in large part to seeing how you were. To all three of you, I can say hands down that my greatest memories of high school occurred at our lunch table junior year. High school wasn’t particularly good to me, but you guys were.

Dave Campbell, junior year was pretty rough for me. Some of it was my own doing, while some of it wasn’t. I never forgot how cool you were to me during that year. Here I was, this quiet dude who most people thought was stalking a girl (and let’s be fair, I didn’t exactly do myself any favors back then), and you treated me much better than I probably deserved. The two of us leaving English early to go to the cafeteria was a highlight for me that year, and I’ve never forgotten the high pitched “woo” we’d do in the hallways. During a time where I really didn’t feel good about myself and could’ve spiraled into a really bad place, you helped me out of it, whether you knew it at the time or not.

Peter, while I may never forgive you for the fact that the 8 Polish Foods of Christmas is STILL stuck in my head 11 years later, I can’t do enough to thank you for the mentor that you were. I didn’t always like everyone in the youth group, but when I was in your small group on Sunday nights I forgot about all of that and felt both wanted and accepted. You were a constant during my high school years, and you helped me get through my most awkward stages. What I’ll remember most actually is a conversation we had long after I had graduated high school. You called me out of the blue in spring 2008 when I was at the point of losing my mind. So much in my life seemed like it needed to change. You called me and provided me with enough calm encouragement that I KNEW I was going to make it. Thank you.

Bob, I don’t know that anyone ever thanked you and your family enough for how hospitable you were in fall 2004 having everyone over at your house during the football season. That was super cool of you, and it wasn’t something you had to do. I’ve always admired and appreciated your almost Machiavellian ways in getting the things you desire, especially while playing Risk! You taught me to find comfort and confidence in myself. You were a huge part of the summer of 2003 being the best summer of my life.

Jason, there are times when I get down and wonder how much of who I am and what I do matters. Since we met nearly a decade ago, you have always taken an interest in my life. It feels good to know that people out there actually care about what I’m doing. I don’t know that I’ve thanked you enough for that. I’m hoping that one of these days I’ll finally be able to tell you I’ve gotten what I’ve waited for.

Matt, I didn’t know you very long during college, but you made my last year at ONU a whole lot more fun. It was nice to have someone in class who shared the same snarky humor that I did, someone who wasn’t afraid to point out how ridiculous some people were (a certain Hugo Chavez supporter comes to mind). I enjoyed chatting music with you, and I discovered a lot of good bands as a result of our conversations. Keep fighting the good fight!

Mark and Kevin, I would not have lasted more than one year at Target were it not for you two. Those long day shifts actually became enjoyable. I’d look forward to breaks and lunches chatting about sports and WWE. My love for WWE actually grew because of the two of you. It gave us something to talk about. One of my greatest memories during my college years was the time we went to No Mercy at Allstate. While I don’t miss working at Target one bit, I do miss the times we shared during those years. You guys were like two big brothers in red and khaki.

Nick, easily the best part about working at Target was all the adventures I had with you. I still think about some of the things we did and said and laugh. I’ll never forget when we took all those carts and evenly dispersed them throughout the parking lot and then bought Jenna a sympathy card so she wouldn’t fire us. Thanks for all the great music you introduced me to. We need to get to Little Caesars one of these days. It’s been way too long.

Tay, there were a lot of guys on Stickam who were absolutely intolerable. I’d go so far as to say that 90% of the males I encountered on the site were people that I’d have to consciously refrain from punching were I ever to meet them in person. You, however, are part of the 10% that were seriously good dudes. You always made things fun and made a room more entertaining. Whether it was your rap battles, your arbitrary debates, or your “going in” on someone, you brought humor to a time in my life where humor was severely lacking. I’ve always appreciated your honesty with me, even when it’s not exactly what I want to hear.

In life, all the roles that we play are important. Even when we think we have just a supporting role or are just an extra, we cannot underscore the importance of what we do. Each of you, whether you knew it or not, made my life better. In some cases, your friendship helped me out of some really rough times. None of us were ever “best” friends, but you don’t have to be best friends to be a good friend and do some serious good in someone else’s life. Thanks for the good you’ve done, and thanks for helping make me a better me.

All the best,
Jakob

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