I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Kim,
For the most part, I’ve made these posts in a pretty random order other than when I posted some to coincide with birthdays. However, I knew as soon as I started this series that I would end with you. Part of that is because I love saving the best for last. Part of it is because I knew I’d have a hard time with this one. After all, what can I say to you that you don’t already know? We talk every day, and I’ve always been open with my heart.
There are a few things I won’t say to you yet because I want to save them for a time when we’re together in person. Some things are best saved for face to face when they can be richer and more meaningful. There are three words in particular that I’d love to say but am saving for the right time and place. That said, there’s still a lot have a lot to say.
The greatest things in life happen when we least expect but most need them. You, Kimberly, are a great thing. When you came into my life, I was in the midst of one of my most trying times. I was laid off from my job. My friends weren’t around. My on and off relationship had finally ended for good. I’ve always been an optimist, but I was beginning to lose hope. I needed something good to happen in my life. You were the best thing that ever could have happened to me. As soon as I met you, everything changed... all the things in my life that got me feeling down immediately ceased to matter. You instantly restored hope, meaning, and purpose to my life. Even if I would’ve dreamed up a perfect woman, she wouldn’t have compared to you.
Some relationships grow out of convenience or proximity, but that's not how it happened with us. The way that you came into my life convinces me that there is a higher purpose to “us”. You tweeted a celebrity with over a million followers. The odds that they’d see your tweet and then retweet it is low to begin with. The odds that I would notice the retweet as I was scrolling through my timeline was even lower, let alone take the time to take notice of your tiny thumbnail of a profile image. But I did. Something in me told me this was something I needed to do, so I followed my heart. I didn’t talk to you right away, though. When it felt like the right time, I finally did.
From the very first time we talked, we clicked. Since day one, we’ve been able to talk about anything and everything without it ever being forced or contrived. I believe that the most worthwhile and sustainable relationships have a balance between common goals/interests and healthy differences that make each other better. We have plenty of things in common, but we also have a number of differences that allow us to feed off one another and make each other better. As teachers and WWE fans, we can sympathize with one another professionally and share in a fun yet fairly dorky hobby. We also make each other better. I’m an eternal optimist. I don’t always see things as they are as much as I see them as I hope for them to be. You, on the other hand, are a massive realist. Because you care so deeply about life, it’s not all that hard to get you down. You are the yin to my yang. You help me realize that sometimes things aren’t going to go the way I want, and I can’t run from that. Hopefully I’ve also shown you the merits in looking on the bright side and always believing.
I don’t know if you’ve realized this or not, but you’ve changed my life. I think and look at things differently because of you. I don’t do that disingenuously or to try to impress you; you’ve honestly made me a better man. Before I met you, I had an irrational disdain for all things Pittsburgh (you can look at old blog posts). These days, I’m live tweeting Penguins games and buying Pirates hats. It’s not that I’m a "shameless bootlicker" as my dad would say; you matter so much to me that the things that matter to you matter to me too. Before I met you, I never realistically imagined ever leaving Chicago. Because of you, I fully expect to move to Pittsburgh someday. I've finally found someone who matters so much more to me than my comfort zone. Because of you, I’m learning to be more patient and to ride things out. I'm learning to speak my opinion less and care about you more.
I love that you appreciate and accept me for who I am without trying to change me. I can make all sorts of ridiculous references and quotes in a conversation, and it makes you laugh. I love that you let me be as sweet or mushy or as overly enthusiastic as I want. You accept me, and I’m pretty sure you even think it’s cute sometimes! I’m sure you sometimes wonder if I really mean and believe everything I say to you. I am super mushy and enthusiastic, after all. I fully and deeply believe in every word I say. I don’t know when it will all turn out, but I KNOW it’ll all come together. Some things are just meant to be.
I would never go so far to say that my world revolves around you. That would be creepy. But I will say that you’ve made me feel alive again. Each day I wake up excited for the opportunity to talk to you and learn more about you. I realize each morning I’m one day closer to where I want to be. I am in pursuit of my Personal Legend. You inspire me in a way no one else has. You make me want to be my best, and I’ve become better because of you. I’m a better and more patient teacher. I work out harder at the gym. I push through grad school. I want to be every bit of the man that you deserve and no less.
I’ve never seen you take a bad picture, so it was a challenge to choose one to put on this post. I settled on this one because you truly are my hero. No, you’re not perfect, and I’ve never expected you to be. But what you are is perfect for me. You’re a fantastic teacher, daughter, and friend. One day you’ll make an amazing wife and mother.
What sets you apart in this series is that while I am proud of our story so far, I am even more excited for the chapters of our story that haven’t yet been told. We have something special, and I’m very excited to see where it takes us. I’ve got big plans for you, my dear. I can’t wait until we spend time together, and I can’t wait for my 11:11 wish to come true. We’re gonna pick up these pieces and build a Lego house (sorry, couldn’t resist). As I tell you daily, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and I like you lots. The past 7+ months have been a blessing, but I don’t think we’ve scratched the surface of our blessings yet, so buckle up baby!
Truly and fully yours,
Jakob
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