I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Gary,
I’ve had a number of people over the years that I could consider mentors. From family members to teachers to pastors, I have learned and been inspired by a number of people over the course of my first 27+ years. It’s a veritable who’s who list of people who have shaped my life. Even in that crowd of people, you stand out.
Like Shannon (who I wrote about yesterday), your greatest role in my life was played during the time that I most needed it. From late 2007 to early 2008, I was an absolute mess. I didn’t know who I was, but I knew that things needed to change or I would lose my mind. I’m not sure why you took a liking to me. I don’t know if it was pity or that the worker in you could see what the end product could be just by looking at the supplies, but you took me under your wing and gave me a lot of help and guidance.
Looking back, I was a clueless kid who just didn’t know any better. I thought that every minor trial was the end of the world. I needed to become tougher mentally. Fortunately for me, you were a true man’s man. While you showed a great deal of compassion to me (probably more than I deserved), you taught me that life was going to be tough and that the only way I was going to survive is if I got tough myself and soldiered through it. I know I had to have driven you nuts by rehashing the same problems over and over again. You never told me “Hey, shut up kid. Just deal with it.” Instead, we talked things out and you taught me a lot. Granted, it took me a while to fully “get” what you were teaching me, but it happened eventually.
The best mentors sacrifice one of three things: time, energy, or money. You spent a lot of your free time on me. In hindsight, I didn’t show enough gratitude for that. For you, your time really is your most valuable currency. You worked your tail off at your job and then came home to be a standup father and husband (and even assumed some extended family responsibilities that you did not expect to have to assume), yet you still made time for me and my litany of issues which were so paltry by comparison. I still remember the night when H talked to me on AIM instead of you and gave me all sorts of advice. It was at that moment that I truly realized and appreciated the sacrifice of time that you made for me.
I’m sorry I took so long to understand such simple concepts. I’m sorry I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. I was so near-sighted those days, but you never stopped investing in me, and I eventually broke through and started to become the person I always wanted to be.
When I think of people I should try to emulate, you are near the top of the list. Your work ethic is legendary, and I hope to be half the husband and father that you are someday. Maybe I’ll even have the chance to show some clueless kid that every little thing isn’t the end of the world. Thanks for being my friend, and thanks for the patience you always showed me. It never went unnoticed.
All the best,
Jakob
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