You are the Story I Tell: The Family I've Acquired

I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.

Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.

Dear Huntley Family,

There are two types of family members: the ones you like, and the ones you don’t like. Just kidding about that part! There are really two types of family members, though. There are the family members you inherit and there are the family members you acquire along the way. In both cases, I can say I’ve been pretty blessed. You are the family I’ve acquired.

I said it in an earlier post, but I’ll say it again because it rings true. It requires a special friendship to withstand lengthy hiatuses and emerge even stronger on the other side. Becky, you were friends with my parents before I even existed. I remember as a young child how much I enjoyed you being around. I’m still sorry to this day for my inability to make it all the way down the aisle at your wedding (a fact that you and Doug never let me live down!) Even though the girls were only toddlers, I remember having fun playing with them.

When you came back into my parents’ lives in 2010, it couldn’t have happened at a better time. My parents really didn’t have other couple friends that they did things with, and with Heidi having moved away, they weren’t going to get the entertainment they needed from me! I remember you (Becky) and Doug coming to our house one night after church, and it was like you and my parents had never missed a beat. What was really cool is that on that day, you didn’t only come back into my parents’ lives but also mine as well.

That particular time period was one of the rougher times in my life. 2010 was not kind to me, but having you guys around made things better. I’ll never forget those nights we spent at the CiCi’s in Lockport. We had to have spent hours there, and yet it never felt like hours.

I’m not the most outgoing person in the world. Yes, I can be lively and friendly, but only with people I truly like and trust. You guys were able to bring that side out of me right away. I felt comfortable around you, and at that point in my life, it was something I really needed.

It absolutely crushed me when Doug passed away, so I can only imagine how it’s been for you the past 13+ months. I still can hear his voice sometimes. I think about the time he asked for a cup full of ice in response to my request for no ice in mine. I think about the last time you guys were over here and the two of us watching a football game in my room. Not just anyone can get an invitation into my room, but with Doug I didn’t think twice. All the qualities in my dad that I really like, I saw in Doug as well. I’m sure that’s why they got along so well.

It would be so easy to deal with something like that and want to give up. Doug wasn’t even my dad or husband and I felt really down about it for a while. I know it can’t be easy to keep going, but that’s exactly what you’ve done, and that is so inspiring.

Jacquelyn and Alison, I am so proud of the work that both of you are doing. My mom gives me updates every now and then, and I am so impressed by your success. I wish I had been blessed with a quarter of the musical abilities that you possess. You’re both going to do some amazing things. Be ready for it.

Becky, I’ve always appreciated the relationship we’ve had. You and my mom tend to think very similarly, but you have an ability to say things in a way that bothers me exponentially less than the way my mom says it! I know it can’t be easy to stay strong, but that’s what you’ve done, and you deserve to know how much you’ve meant to me, especially the past four years. I wish Doug could’ve known how much he meant to me as well.

We’re not related by blood or by marriage, but I consider you to be every bit as much of my family as anyone else. Thank you for being there for me and bringing out the best in me. I hope to see you in the near future.

Love always,
Jakob