I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Androodles,
Most people are surprised when I tell them I only have two cousins. They laugh when I classify my cousins as “The one I talk to” and “The one I don’t talk to”. The more I think about it, the more I think I only really have one cousin. Before you take that as a not so subtle dig and decide to prank me next Christmas with another large picture of Beth and Rob, let me clarify. You have been the close thing Heidi and I have had to another sibling.
Ahmah and Papa’s house would have been fun by itself, but you being around made things infinitely more fun. You made childhood more enjoyable. You always found things to do, from porch baseball to the rock game to the various things we did in the field. Life with you has always been more interesting.
There are a lot of things I’ve learned from you. You have such a great sense of self. You know who you are, and you are comfortable in your own skin. I remember having a conversation about that in August 2002 after you told me that Rachel Jackson thought I was boring. During that time, I really struggled with being okay with who I was. I tried so hard to get people to like me that after a while, not many people did. I was so jealous of you for the fact that people wanted to be around you. You helped me see that being me was the best favor I could do for myself.
I’ve never been all that great at trying new things. I like what I like and don’t often stray from it. You’re not that type of person in the slightest. I’ve always been impressed by your ability to adapt and thrive in whatever your surroundings are, no matter the country or continent. At 25, you make The Most Interesting Man in the World seem tame by comparison. Though I am by no means ready to do half the things you’ve done, you’ve shown me the merits of leaving my comfort zone. Slowly but surely, I’m getting there. There’s a whole world out there!
No matter how far apart we are, I’ll always appreciate the adventures we’ve shared. From the things you’ve done with me and my friends (camp, the Decatur trip, etc.), the things we’ve done as part of the whole family (the Michigan trip, every holiday gathering), and the many things you, Heidi, and I have done together (TTC House Plans, billions of other random experiences, trips to the pool), you’ve been a big part of my life. I know how much you enjoy weddings, so one day I’ll ask you to complete running the gauntlet and stand in my wedding.
I know you’re not quite where you want to be career wise, but I know you’ll get there someday. I have no doubt in my mind that your travels will take you near and far, but I hope you’ll never forget those of us who care about you back home. Thanks for always being there for Heidi and me. I hope that we’ve been able to do the same for you and that you know that we’d do anything for you and support you in anything you do. Thanks for not only being a cousin but also a friend.
Your Favorite Older Male Cousin,
Jakob
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