Saturday, May 3, 2014
You are the Story I Tell: Dad
I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Dad,
Happy birthday! I know your body (at least your legs) hasn’t been as kind to you as you’d like, but for someone who is now one year past official senior citizen status, you don’t seem that old. You’re really only as old as you allow yourself to be, I guess. I know you’ll be reading this at some point, so enjoy.
I know Heidi and I give you a hard time about a lot of things, but we do it in fun. Some of those things we actually do find admirable. Take you “being a martyr” for example. While your exaggerated nature can be quite humorous, the fact that you’ve always been willing to sacrifice for each of us whenever we need it has never gone unnoticed. You’ve always took your place as head of the family very seriously, and that leadership and guidance is something I aspire to in the event that I have my own family someday.
You’ve always taught me the importance of having a plan. Action without purpose is pointless. If you want something, you need to be able to take the steps to get it. If you’re going to do something, there has to be a method to it, or you will waste one of your most precious commodities: time. You’ve always encouraged me to go into anything with at least one plan of action and to be prepared to react if that initial plan is unsuccessful.
I know sometimes I butt heads with you and Mom because you see me doing something and it’s not the way you guys would do it. I know that some of those times you might think I do things my own way because I’m trying to be stubborn or disrespectful or that I think I know better. It’s not those things… well, maybe I am a bit stubborn. I’ve never made any of the decisions I’ve made to upset you guys or to disappoint you in any way. Part of being human is wanting to forge your own path, for better or worse. One of the greatest blessings and challenges of being a Duehr is the fact that we like to do things by ourselves without asking for help. This drive and determination allows us to accomplish great things. It’s why both of us have lost weight and have run multiple marathons. But it’s also why we (and Papa has this quality too) are so insistent on doing it our way. I hope you realize I’m just trying to do my best in the only way that I know how.
I hope you realize that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and Heidi. I know that working a job you can’t stand is miserable, but because you’ve been able to do it, I’ve been able to do it as well. I appreciate how you’ve always made time for whatever Heidi and I were doing, even after working more hours than you should. Your work ethic has taught me to accept nothing less than my best effort. If I wind up half the husband and father that you’ve been, then I’ll have done alright.
Love always,
Jakob
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