I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Staci,
If someone had asked me at the beginning of 2011 to pick the online friend that was going to most impact my year in a positive way, you would have been nowhere near the top of the list. If you would have asked me which of my friends would have made a great mother, I think I probably would have actually ranked some guys above you. But one of the truest signs of greatness is the ability to defy others’ expectations. You have gone above and beyond to do that, and there is no one in this world who could successfully argue that you haven’t become pretty great.
We didn’t really get off on the right foot, but that was due in large part to the fact that neither of us were in a particularly great place in our lives. You met me during my “Summer of Sorrow”, a time where everything was falling apart and I really couldn’t keep myself together any longer. Frustration had set in to the point that I was losing sight of who I was and what made me special. You weren’t in the best place either, and my overly persistent nature caused us to butt heads a bit. We had a bit of a falling out, and that was that.
When you showed up in Erika’s live in summer 2011, I was ready for a fight. I hadn’t forgotten the way you had treated me in the past, and a lot of the anger and resentment I had towards myself had the potential to manifest itself in ugly ways. Somehow, you immediately disarmed me. It took less than five minutes to see that the Staci that was before me was not the Staci I had known in the past. You were humble, responsible, and truly wanted to make things better.
Unfortunately, even when we do our best to make things better, things can still fall apart. I know the place where you were in August 2011. You just found out that you were pregnant, and you were about to move back to Texas. I am so happy that on a whim, I texted you to see if you wanted to do lunch that day. I had no idea you were moving the next day.
Meeting online friends is always a toss-up. I’ve had some great experiences, and I’ve had some awkward ones. When you met me in the parking lot of your hotel, it felt like we were long lost friends. It wasn’t awkward at all. That day was so much fun, and the opportunity to spend those two hours with you is something I’ll always cherish.
I didn’t really know it at the time, but that day changed my life. Here in front of me was someone who was dealt a whole heaping pile of adversity but stared it in the face and said “Is that all you’ve got?” If you could do it, I knew I could too. You made me want to try harder. You made me realize that the time for excuses were over. I lost 35 pounds that fall as a result. I started running, and I eventually ran a marathon. You obviously didn’t do that work; I did. But if you weren’t the catalyst, I don’t believe I would have become the man that I am today. I will always be in your debt.
There was a stretch where we talked every day for months. That time in my life was a time that will always be special to look back on. Though our conversations are more sporadic these days, my pride in you has not diminished one bit. When I see the work you have put in at your job, at parenting, and at life itself, I can’t help but be inspired. You even took the little time you have to have all sorts of free teaching materials sent to my job! I can only hope that I can someday inspire someone half as much as you have inspired me.
Love always,
Jakob
No comments:
Post a Comment