I truly believe that the greatest gift that you can give to another person is to genuinely let them know that who they are and what they do matters. It has been my goal in 2014 to become a more thoughtful person. A string of deaths to some individuals who positively affected my life led me to conceive this series. As the words to my favorite song go, “And for those who have stood by my side, you are the story I tell.” You are the words and pages to my story.
Over the course of the next several months, I will be writing open letters to those who have positively impacted my story. I’m not going to lie. It is my goal to make you cry, not out of grief or pain but out of the realization that you do truly matter. I am not doing this in order of how important you are to me. For the most part (other than birthdays or other important events), the letters will be done in a random order. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you come away from this with the realization that you are extremely important to me.
Dear Heidi,
I can’t believe you’re 25 today. That makes you old, and as your older sibling, that makes me old by default! I’m glad that Mom and Dad decided to stop at two kids, because I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t like any other sibling as much as you (especially not a brother!)
There were a couple times where I wasn’t sure if I’d see your 25th. When you got sick when we were kids, I was really afraid. I remember when Dad told me you were in the hospital, and I cried immediately. I was so worried about you, and I was so happy when you finally started to recover.
You know as well as I do that one of the greatest blessings and curses that comes with being a Duehr is that we refuse to take the easy route to anything. Instead, we prefer to carve our own path. In different ways, we’ve both done that. Some of our greatest successes have come as a result, but some of our greatest struggles have arisen from that mindset as well.
Your path to where you are today has been a winding one. We both know that. What you probably don’t know is how much of that I felt responsible for. As an older sibling, you feel like it’s on you to blaze the trail for your younger siblings, to make things as painless as possible for them. You want to struggle so they don’t have to. I didn’t do a great job of blazing that trail for you, and I’m sorry I didn’t do a great job of preparing you for life’s challenges. When you got to high school, you had to start from scratch just like I did. I didn’t have a stellar social reputation, and I’m sorry for that. I am sorry for the times people weren’t good to you because of me. I should have made things easier for you. You always had the practical intelligence, the athletic ability, and the looks. I was always just kind of awkward.
A lesser person would have tapped out to life’s struggles in 2005 and 2010. It would have been so easy to do so. But, again, Duehrs do not take the easy route. You have made yourself a better student and a better worker, and in the process, you became an even better person, whether you realized it or not. You have come so far in such a short time, and you should be so proud of that. I know I’m proud of you!
I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but I always thought that if we weren’t siblings, you’d have no reason to ever have anything to do with me. You have always been so much better of a people person than I am. Sure, I have my moments, but you’re pretty much “on” all the time. You’re way too cool to have a brother like me, and despite being the younger sibling, you’ve probably taught me more about life and how to be than I’ve ever taught you.
You’re moving away soon, and as always, I’m using my tried and true coping mechanism of refusing to think about it. But if there’s one piece of advice I can give you, it’s this. You have all the ability in the world. You always have. All you need to do is recognize that ability and believe in yourself. You have the tools, the drive, and the determination to ascend to whatever heights you aspire to reach. Just remember that, and don’t let anything anyone else says get you down. Most importantly, don’t get yourself down.
I am so proud to have known you for the past 25 years, and not only am I proud that you are part of my family, but I am oh so proud to consider you a friend. You’ve been a great sister, and you’re going to be a great wife and mother. Always believe.
Love always,
Jakob
No comments:
Post a Comment