2013 in Review

For the tenth (?!?) year in a row, I am ending my year by blogging about it in a “Year in Review” post. I enjoy this post probably more than I enjoy writing any other post over the course of the year, as it allows me to reflect on the year that just was and even allows me to go back years later to ponder and reminisce. Quite honestly, 2013 was a challenging year. Put bluntly, it was awful, but it did have some bright spots. As usual, there will be a month-by-month rundown of the year and some thoughts to follow.

January: The year started off with a bang, if by “bang” you mean “Jakob fears for his job.” The school thought they were going to have to lay me off as enrollment went the wrong direction. Fortunately, that did not happen, but I was constantly looking over my shoulder after that. I had a nasty cold/illness that took most of the month to fully shake. I was able to enjoy a nice little Saturday trip to Grand Rapids, Michigan, with my family and got to watch the Seahawks nearly pull off one of the greatest upsets in playoff history. Unfortunately, they came up short, but it provided a lot of hope for the following season.

February: Thanks to rising frustrations, I started lifting at the gym to supplement my cardio. While I am by no means “jacked”, I made a significant amount of progress in regards to my strength. The month was challenging. Two of my students got into a fight in the middle of class, which led to severe long-term ramifications for them both inside and out of the classroom. I honestly felt like I had failed as a teacher.

March: Somehow, enrollment turned around at work and my class began to grow exponentially to the point that I was once again given some help in my classroom, for which I was very thankful. It lightened my load and made the rest of the school year run more smoothly. I made the decision to run another marathon and began training for that. Things began to go extremely sour with a coworker, a recurring theme of 2013.

April: Once again, I enjoyed a pleasant birthday. I decided to get a new tattoo on my birthday of the word “hypomone” on my forearm (a Greek word for “endurance” or “courageous resolve” that was the title of my youth pastor’s last sermon in that position while I was in high school). Mom was a bit freaked at first, but she got over it quickly. I was able to enjoy our yearly WrestleMania get together at my aunt and uncle’s house (even though this particular WrestleMania was decidedly subpar). The month took a nosedive very quickly, as a very close family friend passed away unexpectedly. I still don’t know why things like that happen, but I guess it’s not my place to have such knowledge.

May: Marathon training got more intense, and I began to rack up the miles. I felt weary physically, mentally, and emotionally, as the wear and tear of the school year was finally starting to affect me. I made a poor decision on a birthday gift for someone, and that blew up in my face. It happens. It would have been very easy to simply coast into the end of the school year at that point. But my kids deserved better than that, so they got better.

June: June was a very eventful month. The school year officially ended at the beginning of the month, and the last day was a great celebration of how far we had all come over the past year. I gave each of my students personalized letters with “one last lesson” I wanted them to take with them, and they really responded to that well. I went to a WWE event with my uncle and aunt, and quite honestly, our seats were amazing. I love sitting on the floor. I ran the marathon, which was awful. The weather was bad, the terrain was bad, and the entire experience was bad. I injured my ankle with ten miles to go, but being the stubborn person that I am, I hobbled to the end and crossed the finish line. The rest of the trip to Iowa with my parents and cousin was fun, however.

July: I finally got started on a goal of mine when I began my M. Ed. Program with the American College of Education. It was always my intent to start grad school after I had taught full time for a year, as I would have a year of experience under my belt and more money to pay for grad school. I just didn’t think that whole process would take as long as it did. I was apprehensive about being rusty at the start, having been out of school for a few years, but I was able to shake those cobwebs and at this point, I am one-third done with the entire program. I also was able to catch one of the bands that I listen to at a free show at the mall and got to meet with them after.

August: I almost don’t know where to start here. I was asked by the social worker to help her with a presentation for our school’s Behavior Committee during one of our two in-service days prior to the start of the school year. I had still not heard anything about the beginning of the school year and my assignment, so I began to worry. I finished my part of the presentation and brought it in to work a few days early, hoping to get my assignment. I heard nothing specific, but I got a letter in the mail about coming to teacher orientation the following week. I thought everything was alright. When we got to orientation, roughly half of us were informed that because of plummeting enrollment, we were laid off. Unfortunately, I was one of those people. Eleven of my twelve students from the previous year were allowed reinstatement to their public schools. I was very happy for them, but I was out of a job because I had done my job so well. I was left scrambling because I had not applied for any jobs over the summer (thinking my position was still intact). I applied for the few jobs that were out there, and shockingly to me, I was called by three of those schools for an interview. The first interview was awkward and I felt overmatched, so I knew that one wasn’t going to go well. The second interview was at an alternative high school, and I really hit it off with the administrators, so I felt very optimistic about that. The third interview was at a school where two of my former students currently attend. I was very hopeful about this position. I received a call back from the superintendent to “discuss the position” because my first interview went so well. Unbeknownst to me until midway through the conversation, this was actually another interview and I was not offered the job. Unfortunately for me, he decided to go in another direction. The month did end on a nice note, however, as my sister had a very nice wedding in Grand Rapids and I gave a pretty great speech at the reception.

September: This is when the wheels more or less fell off. I received the job at the alternative high school, but after meeting with one of the district administrators, I did not feel right about it. When I started, I quickly realized that gut instinct was right. Curriculum at the school was a joke, my responsibilities were misrepresented to me during my interviews, and the students were not held accountable for anything. I was told to treat it as a victory that the kids were even showing up. They were allowed to curse me out, and I was offered one of two courses of action: I could either ignore it or curse back at them. Neither of those options was particularly palatable to me. Throw in an assistant who tried to undermine instead of help, and I realized I was being set up to fail. I made the difficult decision to walk away from the job for the sake of my sanity. At this point, I returned to AAA. My job was not waiting for me. I was still laid off. I did not want to just sit around and collect unemployment. I knew that if I was not productive, I would lose my mind. So I started working at the school for free, doing whatever they needed me to do. This quickly turned into me actually teaching a class (but without any real benefits). It wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do. This month also led to great disappointment with someone. I (perhaps naively) believed that my long wait was over and things were finally about to change. I sent a few awesome personalized gifts out that way in hopes that my charm would finally be the catalyst to change. It wasn’t. I was promised a letter that never came. As my world around me felt like it was crumbling, I walked to the mailbox everyday because it was the only thing I held out hope for. That hope never arrived. I sucked it up and kept going.

October: This month held the status quo in terms of work and school. I got into a daily routine, and while it wasn’t optimal, I got used to it. I went to a Seahawks game in Indianapolis with my dad and sister, and we had a good time even though our guys unfortunately lost. We also had a nice trip to Michigan City, Indiana, to the outlet malls, and over the course of this month I met a fellow teacher and WWE fan who helped restore my smile a bit.

November: I was about ready to tap out and stop volunteering at AAA when I was informed that I would be receiving my class back. A number of students were expelled from a district (that, coincidentally, my professor for the grad school course I was taking worked in) and the school had a need for my services. It was tough jumping back in right then and there, but it’s always better to have something than to be lacking.

December: The year ended with a lot of entertaining relatives, holiday celebrations, and teaching. It’s interesting that I ended this year pretty much in the same place that I ended last year, but the route I took to get there this year was much more circuitous.

So, yeah, a lot happened this year. In comparison to previous “Year in Review” posts, this is significantly longer. I felt I had to go into detail to let you know where I’ve been and how I got to where I am today.

2013 was a struggle. Loss is never an easy thing to handle. When you have to deal with losses in employment, in friendships, in relationships, in unexpected deaths, and in hope, it takes a toll on you. Things like that make it very difficult to get up in the morning. But that is never an excuse to give up, easy as that may be.

Quite possibly the thing this year I am proudest of is the fact that I did not regress as a person despite all that occurred. Sure, I made some of the same mistakes I’ve always made (especially in the relationship realm), but I didn’t go backwards. In years past, I would’ve let the defeats hit me harder. I kept at it, and the “courageous resolve” that is visibly displayed on my forearm was on display for the rest of t he world to see as well.

I’m looking forward to 2014. I’ll be honest… I’ve been looking forward to it since June or July! It was a year that put 2005 and 2010 to shame. I am excited for what is to come. I’ve got nowhere to go but up!