On the Grateful Lifestyle and Its Challenges

It’s not always easy to take the time to truly reflect and feel grateful for the things we have. Our government has given us the fourth Thursday of November to celebrate life’s blessings, but true gratitude should be an ongoing lifestyle choice. I will be the first to tell you that I do not do this, but I also know that I am not alone in that. Often, our sense of ingratitude is derived from one of two sources.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Deep down, there is a little Veruca Salt in all of us. We want what we want, and we want it now. We have goals and desires, and we are so singularly focused on them that anything less than those things is considered a massive disappointment. In and of itself, that is not a bad thing. It is good to aspire to new heights. It safeguards against complacency. But in being so single-minded, we lose sight of two things. One, we do not take joy in our journeys. Our desire for instant gratification can be a detriment. Successes are sweeter after failures, and the most satisfying successes take time and effort. If we always got everything we wanted as soon as we wanted it, we would quickly become numb to success. Success is a blessing and should be treated as such. Second, our desires can often outweigh our common sense. I will never forget when one of my bosses told me “Mr. Duehr, the things we want are often the things we should not have.” We sometimes get so disappointed by the fact that our lives do not meet the ideals we have set for them that we ignore the fact that many of those ideals are not the best things for us, and we neglect to acknowledge the good things we do have.


“And I still love the things I lost that brought me here…”

Perhaps my greatest barrier to a grateful lifestyle is the memory of what used to be. I have a hard time getting past the things I have lost. I’ve often been guilty of living in the past; this much I admit. It is difficult enjoy the present when the present seems inferior to the past. I would give almost anything to alter the course of 2013. I miss how my job once was. I miss having my friends around. I miss the hope that certain relationships once brought. But time has created separation between myself and those things. I know I can’t be the only one who struggles with that, but it’s not healthy. The past was great. Cherish it. But be thankful for the present and hopeful for the future.

“You know what the secret to happiness is? Wanting what you have.”

I used the above quote in my Thanksgiving 2011 post, and I like it so much that I decided to use it again. I spend too much too much time thinking about what I used to have or never will have that I lose sight of what I do have. My needs are covered. After a rocky few months, I have returned to full time employment and teaching my own class. I may not see my friends often anymore, but I still have people who genuinely care about me and want to see me prosper. I am mindful of the fact that I do still have goals and aspirations and am still on the road to where I want to be, but I am thankful for the progress I have made. This year has been far from easy, but I truly believe that by being mindful of the blessings I have been afforded, things will seem more hopeful. While none of us live in perfection, we do have a lot to be thankful for. It’s time to actively take notice.