Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A Note to My 16 Year Old Self

A little while back, I watched a video of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. reading a reflective letter he had written to his younger self. I was very moved by it, and I really liked the idea. Though I am still a relatively young man, I believe that I have learned enough over the past number of years to do something similar for myself. However, I am not merely limiting myself to one letter. Over the next year or so, I will be writing a few of these letters to myself at different ages, allowing me to reflect on my life in smaller chunks. This is the third in the series.

Letter to Jakob Duehr: to be received April 4, 2003

Dear Jakob,

Happy birthday, kid! You’ve made it to your 16th birthday. And yes, things are going to be pretty sweet. You’ve survived the past two years, and we both know it wasn’t easy. You didn’t ask for any of the hardships you’ve faced, but you’ve pushed past them and have even learned about yourself in the process. This letter should give you exactly what you need to get through the next two years. I’m only going to give you enough to take you through the end of high school.

I’m sorry, but you won’t be getting your driver’s license today. Your school district does things a little weird, and you’re still a couple days away from getting your learner’s permit. Sorry!

Aside from that disappointment, you are about to enter one of the happiest periods of your life. You left one youth group to focus solely on another, and it is probably the best decision you’ve made to this point. The friends you’ve had for years will grow even nearer and dearer to your heart. This upcoming summer you will hang out with them almost everyday. You’ll even start to get burned out with going out all the time. Don’t. Enjoy this time. Cherish this time.

You are actually only a couple days away from getting your first girlfriend. Congratulations. It won’t last long, but that’s your choice. It’ll feel nice to be cared about. Don’t get used to it. After this you will embark on a series of failed pursuits. Some blows will be cushioned softer than others. The girls you meet from church camp will be soft blows. The girls you meet from high school, not so much.

In the past the adversity you faced was not your fault. I am sorry to tell you that the adversity you will face now will be trials of your own creation. You still lack the one thing you need: confidence. This lack of confidence will cause you to do some strange things, especially from behind a computer. You will alienate yourself with a large group of people at your school because of the decisions YOU made. You will tirelessly work to correct these problems, but you will only dig deeper holes for yourself. You will fear walking through certain hallways.

Despite all that, you’ll make it through. You start to learn a little more about yourself, and you gain some maturity along the way. By mid-2004, you have a grasp of who you are and who you want to be, and you will work to become the person you want to be. 2003 and 2004 will be the two best years of the entire decade.

On a side note, I thought I’d share this with you: one night in late 2003, you randomly flip through channels and stumble upon Monday Night Raw. This rekindles a love for WWE that still exists. You wouldn’t believe how big your collection of wrestling stuff gets.

By 2005, things start to get a little tough. You learn that you can try as hard as you can but still fall just short. You’ll miss out on a couple full-ride scholarships. We both know how badly you wanted to get one of those. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It will be okay. Trust me.

So, enjoy today. Enjoy the next two years. They’ll be tough at times, but they’ll be ultimately enjoyable. Blow out those candles and buckle up. It’s going to be a wild ride!

Sincerely,

You, 10 Years Later

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