The Right Fit

Here I am, single as usual, on the fourteenth of February, so it is my obligation to post something on this day. It really isn't a pity party/"woe is me" sort of thing. It's just what I do.



I have recently given more thought to the idea of a future with a significant other than I had in the past. I can't really pinpoint why. Maybe I'm more mature now, with having my own classroom and the stresses that accompany that. Maybe it's because I'm seeing both real life and online friends begin to settle down. Maybe it's because I'm getting closer to 30 than to 20. Whatever the reason, there has been a change in my thinking.



I have long made a habit of pursuing people who were really not available. By that I do not mean that I exclusively pursued women who already had significant others. But I did pursue a great many people who either lived a vast distance from me or who were emotionally unavailable (and some women who met both criteria). It was always easier that way. I never had to deal with the daily commitments that a healthy relationship should have, and I had built-in excuses to soften the blow if/when things inevitably did not work out.



Things have changed, though. I'm not really in the market for something hollow, meaningless, or a road leading to nowhere. While I am certainly not saying that I would rule out anything that is long distance (as there are a plethora of lovely women who live outside the borders of Illinois), that is no longer an unconscious prerequisite.



When I say I am ready for something, I am not just ready to pounce on the first interested or interesting thing that crosses my path. I know what I am looking for, and I am willing to ride it out until the right fit comes along. I am content with my life to not need to force anything. I know I still have a long way to go as a person. I still catch myself making some of the same silly mistakes and decisions that my 13 year old self made or would have made. But I'm getting there, and I'm getting ready for that right fit.