Fear: The Good and The Bad

Whether we like to admit it or not, we either are or have been afraid of something over the courses of our lives. Many people are afraid of many different things. When I was a small child, my two most notable (and most ridiculous) fears were of pinecones and of Chuck E. Cheese. While I still am not entirely sure of the basis for my fear of pinecones, my fear of Chuck E. Cheese stemmed from my issues with duplicity. I could see the mechanical Chuck E. Cheese on the stage and could not possibly understand how another Chuck E. Cheese could be roaming the building. It totally freaked me out.

While it is never a good thing to have phobia-level fears, fear can be both good and bad. From an early age, we were all trained to have an instinctual fear of consequences.

If you touch the stove, your finger will be burned.
If you do not look both ways, you might get picked off by that car.
If you do not follow directions, something may be taken away from you.
If you tell her that she looks fat in that dress, you might get slapped in the face.

In each of those instances, we would likely make the choice connected to self-preservation. Very few of us are masochistic enough to choose otherwise. Fear of consequences is both healthy and productive.

Fear of failure, however, is unhealthy. Too often we internally rationalize our fear of failure by incorrectly connecting it to a fear of consequences.

If I don’t do this the right way, something bad COULD happen to me, and my life would be ruined.
If I ask her out, she might say no, and everyone will think I’m a creep and a loser. My social status would sink to an all-time low.

There is always a chance of failure. Some actions have a higher risk of failure than others. That does not mean you should not try. I lived the first twenty years of my life with a paralyzing fear of failure. I took the safest route possible with everything. It did not get me where I wanted to be. At the age of 24, I still fear failure at time. I know I shouldn’t, and I am proud to say that I fear it less than I have at any point in my life.

Each of us is constantly on a personal journey. We try to progress from where we are to where we want to be. We cannot afford to let that journey be driven by the “What Ifs” and the “This Might Not Work” feelings. Life will always be full of obstacles. The last thing we need is to contribute to these obstacles. One of my favorite quotes touches on this.

Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

Fear, like all things, is best when it is balanced. Fear of consequences is a good thing. It keeps us from orchestrating our own demises. Fear of failure is a bad thing. You are on the road from where you are to where you want to be. Let nothing stand in your way.