This is part of a ten part series in which I “go to war” against a thing or group. Some of these posts are to be taken seriously; others are not. It is up to you, the reader, to differentiate between the two.
As most of you know, I absolutely love watching sports (and the WWE). I like to root for my favorite teams and players and against my least favorite teams and players. There is nothing like seeing a sporting event live. Even if the event is a dud, the atmosphere makes up for it. Unfortunately, it is not possible or feasible to attend every event. If the event on television or on the radio, it is the responsibility of the announcer to bring that atmosphere to the viewer or listener.
Since I rarely listen to the radio (and when I do, I have been pleased with the work of Chicago radio announcers such as Pat Hughes, Chuck Swirsky, and Bill Wennington), my ire is directed towards television. Pick up your game, men. Some of you tarnish the viewing experience.
I loathe any time one of my favorite teams plays a game on ESPN. The announcers range from decent to tolerable to earsores. Any network that keeps Joe Morgan employed and in prime time for upwards of twenty years has some serious programming issues. The worst part about watching anything on ESPN is that the network has an agenda and a distinct bias towards certain teams in each league, the “moneymakers” so to speak. I really do not want to sit through a game and hear constant reminders of how great a player or a franchise is, especially if that team or player is not even playing in the game they are calling!
I am pleased that the Bulls have advanced to a round in the playoffs where they are immune from the announcing of the ghost of Dick Stockton. He may have been an excellent announcer years ago, but this is 2011, and it is seriously painful to have to listen to him.
It is a travesty that CBS and Gus Johnson could not agree to terms. He is one of the few announcers who “gets it” in terms of bringing the atmosphere of the game to the viewer. He knows both how to call and how to react to a big moment, whether for NCAA basketball or for the NFL.
Speaking of the NFL, it disappoints me how such an exciting league can have such duds for announcers. Their announcers range from arrogant and self-serving (Phil Simms and Joe Buck, your table is ready) to boring (the majority of play-by-play announcers) to difficult to listen to (Jon Gruden, I’m looking at you). How the NFL NETWORK thought it was a good idea to have BOTH Matt Millen and Joe Theismann (the patron saints of poor announcing) in the same booth for their Thursday Night Coverage is mind-boggling. NFL, your games are great. Your production values are great. It’s time to bring the announcing up to par.
Now let’s get to the WWE. Though not a sport in the traditional sense, it is just as (if not more) important for good commentary to put over the superstars and the storylines. I had the privilege of growing up to the glorious announcing of Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Jim Ross. Monsoon and Ross both knew how to call a match, how to bring fans in through their announcing, and when to back off to let the story speak for itself. Heenan was the perfect color commentator, sharp in wit and tongue and the perfect foil to Monsoon’s straight man. These days, we get drivel such as Michael Cole. Before he was assumed the role of the antagonistic twerp of an individual that he plays, he was saying such things as “solid steel bamboo”, and “NOT THIS WAY!!!” For years, he has erroneously referred to Randy Orton’s Irish whip powerslam as a scoop slam. Now, Cole cannot be bothered to put over anyone or any storyline not involving the Miz or himself. Todd Grisham was such an emotionless announcer that he got demoted to the back and was replaced by Josh Mathews (who is actually a very talented announcer).
To the major sports leagues, the networks that broadcast their games, and the WWE, I have a challenge for you: Pick up your game. Each of you has a compelling product that is easy to follow and watch, but you need a little something extra to make your events “must-see”. You have a great product. Put people in place who recognize how great the product is and go out of their way to put over the product without allowing personal or professional biases to come out. It’s time to raise the bar and declare war on subpar commentary.
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