Victory, Defeat, Losing Through Winning, and Winning in Losing

I absolutely hate to lose. I cannot stand it when things do not go my way at all. Losses are among the bitterest pills to swallow. Months ago, this very day, I originally thought that I would be soaking sun, seeing an old friend, and victoriously basking in the glory that is WrestleMania in Phoenix, Arizona. Endless efforts on my part to make the trip happen were fruitless, and setting all my yearning aside, I had to give up the dream. While I would have loved the opportunity to have gone, it is increasingly apparent to me that it would unfortunately have been the wrong decision. It got me thinking, though.

Just as I have experienced, our lives are full of victories as well as an unfortunate amount of losses. Winning is fun, but the idea of remaining undefeated simply is not a realistic expectation to have. Yes, defeats are an inevitable reality. But it is not losing that makes a loser. We each have our moments in the sun, and times exist when effort is insufficient. It is my opinion that past all the wins and the losses there are wins and losses. Losing and winning both occur as a result of losing and winning. Please let me rephrase that. Our actions and behavior after every loss and every victory determine the real winners and losers.

Life is full of games and battles. Whether direct competitions or goals that are set, we end up on one of two sides. It is fun to win, but it is not always easy to be a winner. Quite often the winners turn out to be losers as a result of their victories. Some inflate their own self worth and rub their victory in the faces of those who have been defeated. Others reach the top of the proverbial mountain and forget that staying there is just as arduous of a task as getting there. Each victory has the potential to bring defeat in its aftermath. Here are three of my humble pointers to limit this potential.

1. Act like you've won before. Some victories are small victories. No need to overstate and humiliate others. Respect what you have achieved, but do it with class and dignity.
2. Be gracious without being patronizing. Acknowledge those who helped you get there. Very few victories were truly won alone, so thank those who helped you achieve what you have. Also, if in a direct competition, acknowledge the work done by those you have defeated. Just because they fell a bit short does not mean they did not put everything they had into the pursuit. Respect them without belittling them in the slightest.
3. Cherish each victory like it may be your last. Quite honestly, we never know when things may turn. Life is full of feast or famine cycles. Cherish each victory. Enjoy each victory. Don't get an increasing sense of entitlement with each victory. As quickly as it came, it can go.

Now, a message to all my fellow losers out there. Failure is not final. We need to do a better job of not losing as a result of the initial loss. Here is some advice on how to win in defeat.
1. Don't fight it. The worst sort of loser is the sore loser. Don't gripe about the loss. It happens. Lick your wounds, get back up, and fight that much harder the next time. The longer you complain about the loss, the longer it lingers, and the more of a loser the loser becomes
2. Endure defeat with grace and humility. Losing hurts a whole lot. It's awful, but it's true. Taking defeat in stride showcases the true winner you are. Give the winner his or her due, but take pride in your effort. Do not let be defeated by defeats.
3. Realize that rematches are possible. Not all defeat is final. The World Series is not decided by one game. Do not dwell on that loss, but work to do everything you can to swing momentum back to your favor. Analyze and improve your own weaknesses, and exploit the weaknesses of your opponent.
4. Be willing to walk away for the better good. This might be the hardest one of them all. Sometimes we want something so badly that might not be for us to have (temporarily or permanently). I know firsthand that this is difficult, but at times we must sacrifice our desire to win to put someone else in a position to succeed. This hurts, but this by no means makes us a quitter or a loser. It may lose us the battle, but it is a true victory.

Each of life's battles has two parts: the battle itself and the battle of reaction. Victory or defeat in the first part does not necessarily translate to victory or defeat in the second part. Victory or defeat in battles of reaction can potentially carry on to our next battles. Win like a champion. Lose like a champion. Win through losing to help someone else. Keep fighting, and never give up.