Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

(NOTE: The title of this piece is tongue-in-cheek because I heard the song this morning. It does not, by any means, imply a deeper or greater desperation on my part to have something romantic at this instant, nor does it indicate a desire to be set up by anyone. I’m quite picky.)

It is that time of the year. Winter has disgustingly set in, and “love” is in the air. It is also the time of year for my anti-Valentine’s Day blog. It is one of the many traditions I keep. For those of you wondering of my other traditions, they will be revealed at a later point this year. That’s not what this is about, though, so it is time to carry on.

This year is different. I am not going to lament previous failures nor ponder which of those failures was my fault and which were the faults of the other parties. That is both irrelevant and unproductive at this point. I am sincerely happy for those previous failures who have found love elsewhere. They deserve it. However, this is about me and not about them.

I may have finally found a common thread in all those that I pursued in the past, other than their ridiculously large eyes (admittedly I’m a sucker for big eyes). For the most part I have involved myself with individuals who for one reason or another were largely unattainable. For all my outward desire to have what others had there was an underlying aversion to commitment. Granted, I probably would’ve committed to them, but I didn’t have to, making it easier and lending proof to the notion that I valued the “chase” above the “catch”.

Things are changing in my life. I am feeling more and more grown up, and while I do not necessarily enjoy feeling grown up I do recognize it as a necessary evil. I also recognize that though I am a fairly motivated individual there are times that I need that little extra push to get from where I am to where I want to be. My weight, aversion to using the telephone, and general fear of failure were conquered both directly and indirectly thanks to some great young women in my life.

While I am actually fairly confident in my eventual success this year in a rather lengthy pursuit I have made, I am not actively seeking “love”, “happiness”, or whatever some would like to call it. It will happen, but it is more likely to happen in spite of me rather than because of me. I anxiously await the future. What is meant to be will be. What is not meant to be will not.