Various Thoughts

For the longest time, I hated taking risks, but now I can't get enough of them. When my old flame Jessica told me she was with child, she asked me what I thought. The Jakob of old would've said some sort of congrats with a moderate amount of sucking up. Heh, not now. I told her how she let me down and wasn't living life with a plan. When she got mad, I didn't care. Fear of what she thought of me didn't matter anymore.

After the whole Jessica fiasco and closure, I decided it was finally time to let Stacie know how I felt about her. She is one of my closest friends, but I think that if it's meant to be, someday there'll be more. I don't know if I've ever felt such a connection with a person. I would do anything for that girl without asking for much in return. I'd rather see her with me because that way I'd know she was in good hands. We'll see. I know it makes her uncomfortable talking about it, but for me, I like to keep it on her mind at all times. We'll see if my interest gets in the way of being best buds. It shouldn't, other than when she tells me about that stupid English teacher of hers. Shouldn't make me jealous, but it does. Haha.

I used to not mess with girls with boyfriends in trying to be honorable, but not anymore. It doesn't help that the last three girls I was interested in had boyfriends who didn't particularly like me. Jessica, Con4t, Stacie, all three of them have had boyfriends who wanted to run their mouths off about me. Stay focused on your relationship and being the best you can be, and you won't have to worry about looking over your shoulders. Though I will say, objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

My tolerance of stupidity and annoyances have lowered and lowered as of late. At work and at school I am finding it difficult to keep my mouth shut. The people in my Latin American History class can vouch for that. At Target, I have to be sure that my sharp tongue doesn't put me in the unemployment line.

So, after reading this, it would probably appear that I am unhappy. Things are not where I'd like them to be, but I am optimistic. All will be well, and if they aren't, I'll find a way to make them well.