Before I start, I wanted to let you know that while this blog is inherently more philosophical than the blog posted yesterday, it is, however, not as philosophical as what I am going to put up in the near future. This is more of an observational blog. It is, also, in and of itself a hypocrisy. You'll figure that out after you read it.
In our lives, there are certain situations or decisions which may seem trivial or logical at the time, but its ramifications extend far beyond that initial decision. I was thinking about one of those situations.
The date was March 3, 2002. I still had all of my 8th Grade graduation money, which was a pretty good amount of cash. The only computer we had in the house was my dad's old business computer from 1996, which used Windows 3.1 and did not have internet access. So, at the time, with my high school career taking off, it seemed like the most logical decision to use that money to purchase a computer with internet access. So, that is what we did.
This computer opened a whole new world of opportunities and information for me. I was able to discover anything and everything I wanted to. I could get music on demand, and I could talk to anybody immediately, provided they were online. The whole concept of instant messenger was particularly intriguing to me because I've never liked to use the telephone. It was amazing, and it allowed me to keep in touch with people who lived far away.
But, the other day, I got to thinking: What would the last four years have been like had I not had this outlet? Would things have been better or worse? Unfortunately, I couldn't come to a decisive answer.
Having the internet as an outlet for communication has limited my social urgency. I don't feel the need to be as social in person because I know I have this to fall back on. Also, I was looking back on all the bad situations that have happened to me, and they have mostly happened because of me acting stupid and/or creepy on the internet. If I didn't have the internet to do those things, life probably would have been a lot easier, and I would have spared myself and my reputation some discomfort. Lastly, for all the positive that can come from the internet, there is an evil that balances it. I wish I could say that I never fell into any of these pits of evil, but if I did, I would be lying to you. In fact, giving in to some of these evils led to my departure from the internet for the last three months of 2004. Not coincidentally, those months were some of the best months of my life, and I look back on it with nothing but good memories. I was able to better understand myself and others, and without the availability of other outlets I was forced to branch out and be publicly social.
Now, this blog wouldn't be fully fair if I did not share with you some of the positives that may not have happened without the internet. For one, I was able to go to camp with the ability to maintain friendships easily. I have friends from four and five years ago that I still remain in communication with. There are other friends that I have actually met through the internet who have become good people to talk to and share interests. Through the internet, I was able to strengthen friendships with people who lived close but I never really had a chance to talk to in person as well. And possibly the biggest thing that has come out of my time on the internet was my old website. That website, its weekly maintenance, and the constant flow of visitors to it helped usher in a new era of my life; a golden era so to speak. It set the stage for an amazing 2003 and 2004, and life hasn't been quite as good since then. Had the website not been created, it is possible that I could have stayed in the rut that I was in at the end of 2002 and never grown as a person.
So, if I had never had the internet, would my life during the last five years have been different? Yes, it would have, both positively and negatively. So where do I go from here? Unfortunately, we do not live in a black and white world, so it is not always feasible to make black and white determinations. Therefore, I'm going to have to try to take the best of both worlds. I'll still utilize the internet for what it does best for me. However, it's time to branch out. Reliance on one particular area in any facet of life leads to stagnation. Quite honestly, I want progress. So, while you'll still be able to catch me on here often, let's hope you can catch me in the real world as well.
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