Why Jakob Duehr doesn't do Valentine's Day

Hello, hello. It's that time of year again. Supposedly some holiday's coming up? Meh, nobody told me. Actually, I'd rather choose not to celebrate it. Sit back and let me take you on a journey through my mind.

I have celebrated the 14th of Feb. twice in my life. In 1994, I made/gave Cassie a pin or barrette or something, and she gave me chocolate. Not a bad trade-off by any means. Sadly, she moved away months later. In 1997, I bought Amy a Beanie Baby. In return, I got a Reese's Peanut Butter Heart. Again, not too shabby. However, in the modern era (2000-present), I have not been so fortunate. In 2000, V-Day occurred two days before I met Becky, my first true crush. Meh, nothing came of it anyways. In '01, I was still seething from Becky's not being single and spent V-Day in self-pitying bitterness. In '02, I was lamenting Becky's sister Rachel's being taken. In '03, I was too busy attending to my website. However, a couple weeks later I would meet Mollie who eventually became my girlfriend of four weeks. In '04, I had difficulties escaping the whole stalker situation with Colleen and had to lay low so to speak. Last year, I was extremely ill on V-Day and decided to wait until Turnabout to try to advance things with a girl named Jamie from my study hall. Worst decision I ever made. From 2002-present, I have also tried to maintain a friendship/pursuit with a girl named Jessica, yet I have been unsuccesful all this time.

There are countless other awkward situations that would also contribute to my singularity; my relative lack of motivation in a public setting with females causes them to think I am a major buttface, so to speak. So, you know what I do instead? I find every girl whose e-mail address I know and send them virtual flowers. More likely than not they are single as well, so it's a little way to let them know someone cares. Some like them, others get freaked out, but it's my unorthodox way of showing my love.

I'm not sure how many more years I'll be doing "V-Day" this way. I could probably use a healthy portion of love. Maybe not, but I leave you with these lyrics:

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Love always,
<3jakob<3