I don't know how to take risks

Well, tomorrow is our winter dance, and the events I will soon tell took place in the last month leading up to today.

I am months from graduating high school, and I have never attended a school dance. By some strange twist of fate, I have gained immense popularity this year, and numerous people have pleaded with me to go to the dance. All along I said I wasn't going to go without a date, and there was one girl in particular I had my sights on. I've had a crush on her all year. In the last few weeks, I've turned down five offers from five different female friends to go with them to the dance because I said I'd only go if I could get the aforementioned crush. Then yesterday, the unthinkable happened.

I was sitting in my Spanish class talking to a mutual male friend of the crush and myself. I finally divulged to him my interest in her, and he shared it with her two best friends who also happened to be in my Spanish class. It turned out she didn't have a date either, and I was to be her savior. I decided that I would ask her, but not right away, since I still had a day and a half remaining. I told enough people about my intentions that it eventually reached her, and to my knowledge, both she and her friends were relatively excited.

When today rolled around, I totally tweaked out. I did not even speak to her, let alone ask her to the dance, even though I clearly stated that morning that I was going to do so. I was feeling worse for myself until I saw her talking to one of her friends. He asked her what had come of the day, and her response was "Absolutely nothing. But, that's life. What can I do?" That comment and the look on her face left an impression on me far worse than if I had asked her and she said no. The fact that I hurt someone just to ensure that I wouldn't be rejected makes me a spineless jerk.